Kết nối từ tâm – Connection from the Heart
by James Kang, Country Leader, Vietnam
When volunteers tell me they want to come to Vietnam to serve for the first time, one of the first questions is usually, “What do the Vietnamese need?”
My answer has usually been, “The needs are many, but please send me the CVs of the people who are interested first.”
I then send those CVs to our Vietnamese partners. Together with the volunteers, we determine where their skills and experience might be helpful, what our Vietnamese partners want to learn and what kind of curriculum and schedule we can develop together.
That may seem like it makes a small difference, but I believe it says something important about how REI has worked in Vietnam and how we want to continue working in the future.
It’s not about “What can we do for Vietnam?”
It’s about “What can we do together with the Vietnamese?”
This is where a Vietnamese expression has become increasingly meaningful to me: Kết nối từ tâm – connection from the heart.
For many years, international organizations and volunteers have served overseas by bringing resources, expertise, technology and plans. We see a need, develop a solution, recruit people, raise money and come to help. That approach has accomplished much good, often through sacrificial serving.
But REI’s work in Vietnam has always depended on something deeper.
WHAT OUR WORK DEPENDS ON
Over the years, we have developed relationships with hospitals, universities, professionals, government leaders and many others. Relationships matter, but I have learned they're not enough on their own.
You can have a professional relationship without deep trust. You can have meetings, sign agreements, conduct training, complete projects and even work together for years while the relationship remains primarily transactional.
Kết nối từ tâm is different.
Because it begins with sincerity – chân thành. It grows when people experience openness, goodwill, mutual respect, consistency and trustworthiness from one another. Trust develops when people see over time that our words and actions are consistent and that we are interested not only in accomplishing our project, but also in understanding and valuing one another.
For me, kết nối từ tâm is the key that moves a relationship toward trust, and trust is what makes genuine partnership possible.
Today, when I work with Vietnamese hospitals, universities, professionals and leaders, I am working with highly educated and capable people who understand their institutions, their people and their country far better than I ever could. They don't need international partners to come and tell them what they need or how to solve their problems.
They need partners who will listen.
Then we can bring our different strengths to the same table.
International professionals often bring initiative, innovation, strategic planning, technical expertise, global experience and a desire to achieve measurable results. We naturally ask, “What is the problem? What is the solution? How do we get it done?”
Vietnamese leadership comes from a different cultural experience. Relationships, respect, patience, consensus, and long-term trust often play a significant role. Before asking, “How do we solve this problem?” Vietnamese leaders intuitively think, “Who needs to be involved? Who should be consulted? Can we trust one another? And how will this decision affect the people involved?”
Neither approach is necessarily better; they reflect different ways of seeing the world.
When trust exists, those differences do not have to divide us. They can become complementary strengths.
HOW TRUST FORMS
Several years ago, I accompanied an international medical team of volunteers on a visit to Vietnam. They were well prepared, highly qualified, genuinely wanted to serve their Vietnamese colleagues, and were eager to begin.
On the morning of the first meeting, however, our Vietnamese partners did not immediately begin with the agenda.
The first hour of conversation focused on families, mutual friends, previous visits, the hospital's history and the team’s journey to Vietnam.
To an international visitor, this can sometimes feel like “small talk” before the real meeting begins.
But the heart has already begun to connect.
The Vietnamese partners are not simply building a relationship. They are beginning to more deeply understand the people sitting across the table. And, this trusted partnership allows our Vietnamese to help shape the direction of the work.
This is how REI has sought to work in Vietnam, and it is how we want to continue working.
AN IMPORTANT LESSON
Today, our Vietnamese partners are not simply asking international partners to lead them. Increasingly, they are asking us to walk with them.
And that brings me back to kết nối từ tâm – developing a trust that changes the way we work together.
This allows us to speak honestly. It allows us to disagree without damaging the partnership. It allows us to admit what we do not know. It allows Vietnamese partners to tell us what is truly needed rather than what they think we want to hear. And it allows international partners to contribute their expertise without needing to control or lead the outcome.
REI’s distinction endures, as we continue to move from leading to partnering, from bringing answers to discovering answers together, and from doing something for people to building something with them.
Relationships may bring us together, but kết nối từ tâm xây dựng lòng tin – connecting from the heart to build trust – makes genuine partnership possible.
That, perhaps, is one of the most important lessons Vietnam continues to teach me.
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